2001-04-06 ~ simplicity

sometimes i think that i am the only person on earth that is going through what i am. but then i realize that it's not that what i am going through is bad, it's just different, that's all. i really wish i could have stayed at lance's tonight. instead i type this while he is asleep in the other room. i just can't leave. i don't want to leave. i know i have to, though. my mom would get really upset if i didn't come home, and i love my mom too much to worry her like that. i just wish she would understand me better sometimes. it's not that i am depressed, i've just been thinking. i don't know. i don't know anything. i just wish that my life were more simple, somehow, sometimes. it would be nice to live in a remote place, with no computer, no phone, no tv, just books and mail and a fireplace and the stars. that would be nice. of course lance would have to be there, i wouldn't want to know what life is like without him, but that is another entry for another night, this one is almost over---already.