lance called me tonight, after i had already talked to him for almost an hour. he said he had thought i would be at the movies with dustin, like i said i might be, and that he had expected to leave a voicemail.
lance had been afraid that i was going to leave him for dustin.
lance must not realize that i will never leave him. yes, lance, i know what you are saying..."never is a very strong word" but i mean it with all my heart. i love him with everything i am, more than i could every love anyone ever (except for mom, but that's a different kind of love).
sure, i do love dustin, but that is best-friend love, getting to know someone and remaining friends through all the ups and downs.
lance must not realize that i feel that best-friend love for him (maybe not the same as dustin, but to the same degree) and so much more too. just because lance and i don't do the same things as me and dustin doesn't mean that i want to date dustin instead.
lance has no idea how i feel about him. he really doesn't. he doens't know that it doesn't bother me when he is upset about something and needs someone to vent to. he tells me things about himself that even his parents don't know. i am flattered by that, he knows he can trust me with anything.
i never realized how much patience i am capable of until i needed a little for lance. i know now that no matter what, i will always have enough patience to listen to him and to be there for him.
if you are not lance and have read this whole thing and think i'm too sappy, i feel sorry that you have never understood this feeling for someone. i hope that someday you get to experience a tiny fraction of my happiness, because i must be infinitely blessed.