after my sister told me that she was, in fact, coming to my moving-in party on saturday, i didn't think that there could be anything else she could say that would surprise me. i knew that she is going to be moving to kansas in like a month, which makes me sad, but i think a long distance relationship is better for us anyway.
then she dropped a bomb on me.
before you ask what's wrong with me, understand that she is my twin sister, and our whole lives my mother has strived to make everything equal for us. my father didn't help by spending $500 a shot on horse-riding lessons, boots, jackets and such, but i had my cheap telescope, and at least i got more of his attention.
well now kari is engaged to a guy who just accepted a six figure salary offer. he spoils her rotten, which i am fine with most of the time. except now she 'works' for him, and he pays her more money a year than i think i'll see anytime soon. and what work does she do? she doesn't have to go through a stupid temp agency just to find a decent paying (and it's nowhere near her salary!) non-retail job! she doesn't work, he just pays her to call a few people every now and then and in the meantime she shops for $700 shoes on Ebay and plays her stupid internet game.
ok, i know, i'm straying. the bomb. here it is.
she got her stupid bmw x5 suv thing. she's leasing it with her own money she tells me. seven hundred dollars a month. well, sure, i could lease a luxury suv if somebody was paying me that much money a year! and i'd be able to drive it around and gloat over everyone in the spare time i have because i don't work at all! (if i start typing funny it's because i'm almost punching the keyboard as i try to type)
it's so easy for her. everything has always been so easy. and i've had to work my ass of for what, a measly 20K a year. nobody ever bought me $700 shoes, or took me on three cruises in six months, or put a ten thousand dollar ring on my finger. i just wish that for once, just once, life could come easy for me too, and for once i would know what it feels like to not have to work and still be able to pay bills, or not have to worry about bouncing checks or paying off credit cards, because someone else would do it for me.
i hate money. i hate that i have to have it to pay bills and give me options.
i hate that something as simple as my sister leasing a car i don't even like makes me this jealous.
i hate that.