Ok, so I'm at work- again. It's this nasty habit I have: I go to a job that's ok, but I don't really like all that much. So I can pay for a car that I hate that drives for crap in the snow. So I can also pay off my credit debt from a life I've left behind...not entirely, though.
I still think about old times and old friends. I miss a few of them, and hope the others are worse off than me. I don't hate anyone, really. Except for maybe Britney Spears- but she never did anything to me specifically.
A while ago I changed my profile to say something along the lines of "my journey to being me". I thought "Hey, I'm never going to know who I want to be eventually, because this idea is constantly changing. But things never ever turn out like we plan, so why should I even bother keeping up this ideal of the me I want to be, and just enjoy being me right now?"
I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that is how I see it.
So that is what I'm doing. Screw the ideallistic crap. I'm me- right now. I like who I am, I really do. I could make a few cosmetic changes on the outside, but on the inside, there is no other me I'd rather be.
So why do I think about my sister and wish that I could not have job, but have my dream car nonetheless?
Why do I wish that things were different?