it occured to me recently that maybe my whole focus on life was part of the reason I seem to be unhappy. i focus on what i don't have, things i want, things i want to do, and so on- by doing this i believe that i have been putting way too much emphasis on the future, and not nearly enough on the present. my attention should be put to where it can be most useful, and dreaming about the future will not make it happen now. so what does this all mean? i'm not sure, but maybe i will try concentrating on what i have now, who i am now, what i am trying to do now, and maybe i'll have more success now- who knows? stranger things have happened.
on a lighter note: i started writing again today, i have almost 3 pages (these are smaller) so far, and the story is still interesting me, so i'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one!